Notes: (1) Please read my post “Plain English, Plain Language or Plain Writing for government offices and private companies in the Philippines.” (2) I conduct seminars for government offices or private companies that want to train their staff in Plain English. Please email me at gtgalacio@yahoo.com or text 0927-798-3138 for details. (3) For interactive grammar exercises, please visit my “Better English resources and exercises” website; I also have interactive quizzes on Plain English / Plain Language. (4) If the tables do not look right, try using Mozilla Firefox or Google Chrome. (5) These revisions are my own and are used only to illustrate Plain English principles. If there are conflicts between my revisions and the official DSWD guidelines on travel clearance for minors, you must follow the official guidelines.
Plain English revision: I used the pronoun “you” to directly address the user.
| Before | After |
| Who are entitled to the benefits and privileges granted under RA 9994? All Filipino residents who are 60 years old and above are entitled to the benefits and privileges granted RA 9994. It may cover elderly “dual citizens” who can prove Filipino citizenship and at least 6 months residency in the Philippines. | Who are entitled to the benefits and privileges granted under RA 9994? If you are a Filipino resident 60 years old and above, you are entitled to the benefits and privileges under RA 9994. If you are a “dual citizen,” you must also prove (1) your Filipino citizenship and (2) at least six months residency in the Philippines. |
Plain English revision: I used a vertical list to break up the paragraph and to make things clearer.
| Before | After |
| Who are entitled to the benefits and privileges granted under RA 9994? All Filipino residents who are 60 years old and above are entitled to the benefits and privileges granted RA 9994. It may cover elderly “dual citizens” who can prove Filipino citizenship and at least 6 months residency in the Philippines. | Who are entitled to the benefits and privileges granted under RA 9994?
|
Plain English revisions: I used the pronoun “I” in the question heading. Instead of “availing” or “utilizing,” I used the short, simple word “use.” I deleted the word “preclude.” I turned the verbose paragraph into a one-word answer.
| Before | After |
| Does availing of the 20% senior citizens discount on hospitalization or medical services preclude utilizing PHILHEALTH benefits at the same time? No, a senior citizens discount on hospitalization and/or medical services can be availed of separately. Thus, PHILHEALTH coverage can still be utilized on top of the 20% senior citizens discount. | Can I use the 20% senior citizens discount on hospitalization or medical services and my PHILHEALTH benefits at the same time? Yes. |
Plain English revisions: I used the pronouns “I” in the question heading and “you”to address the user. I avoided legalese like “owing to the limitation,” and used a vertical list for clarity. I edited the redundant phrases “duly authorized representative” and “a document specifically authorizing the representative.” I used “But” instead of “However” to start the last sentence (original sentence used 30 plus words while the edited sentence uses ten words only).
| Before | After |
| Can bedridden or incapacitated senior citizens avail of discounted purchases through a representative? Yes, but senior citizens can send their duly authorized representative to purchase their medicines and grocery items only. However, the representative must carry the senior citizen’s OSCA ID, the senior citizen’s purchase booklet, a document specifically authorizing the representative, and a doctor’s prescription when necessary. However, discounted food purchases cannot be by proxy or through a representative owing to the limitation that it should be for the exclusive use and enjoyment, or “personal consumption” of the senior citizen only. | If I am bedridden or incapacitated, can I make discounted purchases through my representative? Yes, you can send your representative to buy medicines and grocery items. Your representative must present your:
|
Related posts (Before and After revisions of selected government communications):
- Plain Language revisions: DSWD Travel Clearance for Minors
- Plain Language revisions: Pantawid Pasada Program guidelines
- Plain Language revisions: Public Attorney’s Office guidelines
- Plain Language revisions: PVAO educational benefits
- Plain Language revisions: PDIC notice to Banco Filipino depositors
- Plain Language revisions: BSP Circular No. 702, Series of 2010 on protection of credit card holders
- Plain Language revisions: DepEd Order No. 88 s. 2010
