Thursday, August 01, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (19): Avoid dummy subjects and unnecessary preambles

1. “It” as a Dummy Subject in Grammar

The word “it” can be a subject (or dummy subject) in sentences about times, dates, and the weather (such as, It's raining) and in certain idioms (It's OK). Also known as ambient “it” or empty “it.”

Unlike the ordinary pronoun it, dummy it refers to nothing at all; it simply serves a grammatical function. In other words, dummy it has a grammatical meaning but no lexical meaning.

Related discussion: “Dummy Words” Have No Meaning

2. Avoid dummy subjects or expletive constructions such as

  • It is ...
  • It appears ...
  • There is ...
  • There are ...
  • It will be ...
Examples from “A Handbook for Writers In the U.S. Federal Government”:

Dummy or false subjects Plain Language revision
It is argued in the report that it is essential to simplify the tax code. The report argues that simplifying the tax code is essential.
There was no consideration given to the suggestion by the committee. The committee failed to consider the suggestion.
It is her opinion that there are several issues that need to be resolved. She believes that several issues need to be resolved.

3. Avoid unnecessary preambles or pompous phrases such as
  • It is important to add that...
  • It may be recalled that...
  • In this regard it is of significance that...
  • It is interesting to note that...
  • I would like to point out ...
  • I would argue that ...
  • It should be noted that ...
  • It has been determined that ...
  • It is obvious that ...
References: “Legal Writing 201” by Judge Mark P. Painter and “How to Write Good Legal Stuff” by Eugene Volokh (UCLA Law School) and J. Alexander Tanford (Indiana University Maurer School of Law - Bloomington)

4. How to use ‘There is...’ and ‘It is...’ and dummy subjects



5. There is… There are… (Expletive Construction, Dummy Subjects)



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Thursday, July 25, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (18): Avoid nominalization or hidden verbs


1. A hidden verb is a verb converted into a noun. It often needs an extra verb to make sense. So we write, “Please make an application for a personal loan” rather than “Please apply for a personal loan.” (US SEC “A Plain English Handbook” 1998)

2. Two signals of nominalization

A. Distinct endings B. Weak helping verbs
- ance
- ence
- ant
- ity
- ant
- ment
- ness
- sion
- tion
be
conduct
do
effect
get
give
have
hold
make
perform
provide
put

3. What Is Nominalization in English Grammar?

In English grammar, nominalization is a type of word formation in which a verb or an adjective (or another part of speech) is used as (or transformed into) a noun. The verb form is nominalize. It is also called nouning.

In transformational grammar, nominalization refers to the derivation of a noun phrase from an underlying clause. In this sense, an “example of nominalization is the destruction of the city, where the noun destruction corresponds to the main verb of a clause and the city to its object.” (Geoffrey Leech, A Glossary of English Grammar, 2006).

4. The Dark Side of Verbs-as-Nouns (New York Times)

It’s not just that nominalization can sap the vitality of one’s speech or prose; it can also eliminate context and mask any sense of agency. Furthermore, it can make something that is nebulous or fuzzy seem stable, mechanical and precisely defined. . . .

Nominalizations give priority to actions rather than to the people responsible for them. Sometimes this is apt, perhaps because we don’t know who is responsible or because responsibility isn’t relevant. But often they conceal power relationships and reduce our sense of what’s truly involved in a transaction. As such, they are an instrument of manipulation, in politics and in business. They emphasize products and results, rather than the processes by which products and results are achieved.

5. Example from US Federal Rules of Evidence (Rule 102. Purpose and Construction)

Original provision Plain Language revision
These rules shall be construed to secure fairness in administration, elimination of unjustifiable expense and delay, and promotion of growth and development of the law of evidence to the end that the truth may be ascertained and proceedings justly determined. These rules should be construed so as to administer every proceeding fairly, eliminate unjustifiable expense and delay, and promote the development of evidence law, to the end of ascertaining the truth and securing a just determination.

6. Examples from US SEC “A Plain English Handbook” 1998

Text with nominalization Plain Language revision
We made an application We applied ...
We made a determination We determined ...
We will make a distribution ... We will distribute ...
We will provide appropriate information to shareholders concerning… We will inform shareholders about…
We will have no stock ownership of the company. We will not own the company’s stock.
There is the possibility of prior Board approval of these investments. The Board might approve these investments in advance.

7. Examples from Hong Kong Securities and Futures Commission: How to create clear announcements

Text with hidden verbs Plain Language revision
Shareholders will be notified of the commencement of the offer. Shareholders will be notified when the offer commences.
If there is a refusal by the Court to... If the Court refuses to...
The company will make application to the Stock Exchange... The company will apply to the Stock Exchange...
The SFC must grant permission... The SFC must permit...
The director made the statement in reliance upon... The director relied on...
The shareholders have passed a resolution... The shareholders have resolved...
Payment will be made by the purchaser... The purchaser will pay...


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Thursday, July 18, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (17): Avoid using “and/or”

(Note: Jump to the Philippine Supreme Court decisions on proper interpretation of “and/or” in Chinabank vs. HDMF, 1999 and Dayao vs. Comelec, 2013)

1. Louis-Philippe Pigeon, former Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada:

“And/or” seems to be used by writers whose main concern is to appear erudite. In my opinion, quite the opposite impression is created. Use of this conjunction which is not a conjunction is repugnant to the spirit of the language, English or French. (Drafting and Interpreting Legislation, 1988)
2. Michigan Bar Journal, August 2003, by Scott P. Stolley:
The real problem with “and/or” is that it plays into the hands of a bad faith-reader. Which one is favorable? And or Or? The bad faith-reader can pick one or the other, or both — whatever reading is better from that reader’s perspective.
3. Bryan A. Garner includes “and/or” in his “Dirty Dozen” list of words and phrases that legal writers should avoid. Garner says: “American courts have ruled, as early as 1932, that ‘and/or’ is not part of the English language.”

4. Some 1930s US cases condemning “and/or”
  • Minor v. Thomasson, 236 Ala. 247, 182 So. 16, 18 (Ala.1938) (“the interloping disjunctive -conjunctive-conjunctive-disjunctive conjunction”)
  • Cochrane v. Florida East Coast R. Co., 107 Fla. 431, 145 So. 217, 218 (Fla.1932) (“one of those inexcusable barbarisms which was sired by indolence and dammed by indifference ... senseless jargon”)
  • Bell v. Wayne United Gas Co., 116 W.Va. 280, 281, 181 S.E. 609, 618 (W.Va.1935) (“a disingenuous, modernistic hybrid, inept and irritating”)
  • State ex rel. Adler v. Douglas, 339 Mo. 187, 95 S.W.2d 1179, 1180 (Mo.1936) (“meaningless symbol”)
  • American Gen. Ins. Co. v. Webster, 118 S.W.2d 1082, 1084 (Tex.Civ.App. 1938) (“the abominable invention”)
5. Recent Australian cases condemning “and/or”
  • Harrison Green vs. The Queen (2000)
  • Extraman et al vs. Blenkinship et al (2008)
  • Canberra Data vs. Vibe Construction (March 2010)
6. Recent US cases condemning “and/or”
7. Some Philippine laws using “and/or”
  • RA 7192 Gender Equality, Section 4, par. (2)

    Include an assessment of the extent to which their programs and/or projects integrate women in the development process and of the impact of said programs or projects on women, including their implications in enhancing the self-reliance of women in improving their income;

  • RA 8972, Section 3, par. (4)

    Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to physical and/or mental incapacity of spouse as certified by a public medical practitioner;

  • RA 9048 An Act Authorizing The City Or Municipal Civil Registrar Or The Consul General To Correct A Clerical Or Typographical Error And/Or Change of First Name Or Nickname In The Civil Register
8. Philippine Supreme Court decisions on proper interpretation of “and/or”

Overview of the Supreme Court rulings:

Chinabank vs. HDMF, 1999:

Section 19 of P.D. No. 1752 intended that an employer with a provident plan or an employee housing plan superior to that of the fund may obtain exemption from coverage. If the law had intended that the employer should have both a superior provident plan and a housing plan in order to qualify for exemption, it would have used the word “and” instead of “and/or.”

Dayao vs. Comelec, 2013:

The legal meaning of the term “and/or” between “refusal” and “cancellation” should be taken in its ordinary significance — “refusal and/or cancellation” means “refusal and cancellation” or “refusal or cancellation.” It has been held that the intention of the legislature in using the term “and/or” is that the word “and” and the word “or” are to be used interchangeably.

The word “or,” on the other hand, is a disjunctive term signifying disassociation and independence of one thing from the other things enumerated; it should, as a rule, be construed in the sense in which it ordinarily implies, as a disjunctive word. As such, “refusal or cancellation,” consistent with their disjunctive meanings, must be taken individually to mean that they are separate instances when the Comelec can exercise its power to screen the qualifications of party-list organizations for purposes of participation in the party-list system of representation.

That this is the clear intent of the law is bolstered by the use simply of the word “or” in the first sentence of Section 6 that “the Comelec may, motu propio or upon verified complaint of any interested party, refuse or cancel, after due notice and hearing, the registration of any national, regional or sectoral party, organization or coalition.”

Plain Language summary:

The controversies in both cases could have been avoided if our legislators had avoided using the phrase “and/or” and had clarified matters by choosing between “and” or “or.”

From Michigan Bar Journal, August 2003, by Scott P. Stolley:

“The negligence of Defendant Jones and/or Defendant Smith proximately caused Plaintiff ’s injuries.”

Alternatives:

“The negligence of Defendant Jones or Defendant Smith proximately caused Plaintiff ’s injuries.”

“ … of Defendant Jones or Defendant Smith, or both
China Banking Corporation and CBC Properties and Computer Center Inc., Petitioners v. The members of the Board of Trustees, Home Development Mutual Fund (HDMF); HDMF President; and the Home Mutual development Fund, Respondents. G.R. No. 131787, May 19, 1999

Background facts:

1. China Banking Corporation (Chinabank) and CBC Properties and Computer Center Inc. (CBC-PCCI) are both employers who were granted by the Home Development Mutual Fund (HDMF) certificates of waiver dated July 7, 1995 and January 19, 1996 for the identical reason of Superior Retirement Plan under Section 19 of P. D. 1752, otherwise known as the Home Development Mutual Fund Law of 1980. Under that law, employers who have their own existing provident [sic] and/or employees-housing plans may register for annual certification for waiver or suspension from coverage or participation in the Home Development Mutual Fund.

2. P. D. 1752 was amended in June 1994 by Republic Act No. 7742. Subsequently, the HDMF Board of Trustees issued the following:

A. Amendment to the Rules and Regulations Implementing R.A. 7742; and

B. HDMF Circular No.124-B or the Revised Guidelines and Procedure for filing Application for Waiver or Suspension of Fund Coverage under P.D. 175

Under the Amendment and the Guidelines, a company must have a provident/retirement and housing plan superior to that provided under the Pag-IBIG Fund to be entitled to exemption/waiver from fund coverage.

(Note: The phrase “and/or” was used in Section 19 of P. D. 1752; on the other hand, “and” was used in the Amendment and the Guidelines.)

3. Chinabank and CBC-PCCI applied for renewal of waiver of coverage from the fund for 1996, but the applications were disapproved for the identical reason that:

Our evaluation of your companies application indicates that your retirement plan is not superior to Pag-IBIG Fund. Further, the amended Implementing Rules and & Regulations of R. A. 7742 provides that to qualify for waiver, a company must have retirement/provident and housing plans which are both superior to Pag-IBIG Funds.

4. Chinabank and CBC-PCCI thus filed a petition for certiorari and prohibition before the Regional Trial Court of Makati; they sought to annul and declare void the Amendment and the Guidelines for having been issued in excess of jurisdiction and with grave abuse of discretion amounting to lack of jurisdiction. They alleged that the HDMF Board exceeded its rule-making power by requiring the employer to have both a retirement/provident plan AND an employee housing plan in order to be entitled to a certificate of waiver or suspension of coverage from the HDMF.

Issue raised by Chinabank and CBC-PCCI:

The Amendment and Guidelines should be set aside and declared void for being inconsistent with the enabling law, P.D. 1752, as amended by R.A. 7742.

R.A. 7742 merely requires as a precondition for exemption for coverage, the existence of either a superior provident (retirement) plan and/or a superior housing plan, and not the concurrence (or existence) of both plans.
Answer by HDMF Board:

The use of the words “and/or” in Section 19 of P.D. No. 1752, which words are diametrically opposed in meaning, can only be used interchangeably and not together, and the option of making it either both or any one belongs to the HDMF Board.

There is no question of law involved. The interpretation of the phrase “and/or” is not purely a legal question and can be determined administratively. In denying the applications for waiver of coverage under R.A. 7742, the Board was exercising its quasi-judicial function, and its findings are generally accorded not only respect but even finality.


When the RTC ruled against them by dismissing their petition, Chinabank and CBC-PCCI filed an appeal with the Supreme Court by certiorari under Rule 45 of the 1997 Rules of Civil Procedure on pure questions of law.

Supreme Court ruling: What is the proper interpretation of “and/or”?

The assailed Amendment to the Rules and Regulations and the Revised Guidelines suffer from a legal infirmity and should be set aside.

The legal meaning of the words “and/or” should be taken in its ordinary signification, i.e., either and or; e.g. butter and/or eggs means “butter and eggs” or “butter or eggs.”

The term “and/or” means that effect should be given to both the conjunctive “and” and the disjunctive “or”; or that one word or the other may be taken accordingly as one or the other will best fulfill the purpose intended by the legislature as gathered from the whole statute. The term is used to avoid a construction which by the use of the disjunctive “or” alone will exclude the combination of several of the alternatives or by the use of the conjunctive “and” will exclude the efficacy of any one of the alternatives standing alone.

It is accordingly ordinarily held that the intention of the legislature in using the term “and/or” is that the word “and” and the word “or” are to be used interchangeably.

Section 19 of P.D. No. 1752, intended that an employer with a provident plan or an employee housing plan superior to that of the fund may obtain exemption from coverage. If the law had intended that the employee should have both a superior provident plan and a housing plan in order to qualify for exemption, it would have used the word “and” instead of “and/or.”

Antonio D. Dayao, Rolando P. Ramirez and Adelio R. Capco, Petitioners, vs. Commission on Elections and LPG Marketers Association Inc., Respondents. G.R. No. 193643, January 29, 2013

Background facts:

1. On May 21, 2009, LPG Marketers Association, Inc. (LPGMA) sought party-list accreditation with the Comelec, through a petition for registration as a sectoral organization for the purpose of participating in the May 10, 2010 elections under Republic Act No. 7941 or the Party-List System Act.

2. After the requisite publication, verification, and hearing, and without any apparent opposition, LPGMA’s petition was approved by the Comelec in its Resolution dated January 5, 2010.

3. Four months later, Antonio Dayao, Rolando Ramirez, and Adelio Capco lodged before the Comelec a complaint for the cancellation of LPGMA’s registration as a party-list organization. They were later on joined by the Federation of Philippine Industries Inc. (FPII) as a complainant-in-intervention.

The petitioners claimed that LPGMA does not represent a marginalized sector of the society because its incorporators, officers and members are not marginalized or underrepresented citizens; they are actually marketers and independent re-fillers of LPG that control 45% of the national LPG retail market and have significant ownership interests in various LPG refilling plants.

4. In its resolutions dated August 5, 2010 and September 6, 2010, the Comelec dismissed the complaint for two reasons. First, the ground for cancellation cited by the petitioners is not among the exclusive enumeration in Section 6 of R.A. No. 7941. Second, the complaint is actually a belated opposition to LPGMA’s petition for registration which has long been approved with finality on January 5, 2010.

5. Ascribing grave abuse of discretion to the Comelec, the petitioners filed with the Supreme Court petitions for certiorari under Rule 65 of the Rules of Court, asking it to rule on the correctness of the Comelec resolutions.

6. Supervening event while the petitions were being heard by the Supreme Court: As shown in Resolution dated December 13, 2012, LPGMA passed the automatic review conducted by the Comelec on the qualifications of party-list groups. The Comelec found LPGMA to be compliant with the guidelines set by law and jurisprudence, and its accreditation was retained for purposes of the 2013 party-list elections.

Supreme Court ruling: Difference between “refusal” and “cancellation” and proper interpretation of “and/or”

The Comelec had no valid justification for the dismissal of the complaint for cancellation. But because of Comelec Resolution dated December 13, 2012, the petitions were dismissed.

An opposition to a petition for registration is not a condition precedent to the filing of a complaint for cancellation.

Section 6 (“Refusal and/or Cancellation of Registration”) of R.A. No. 7941 lays down the grounds and procedure for the cancellation of party-list accreditation. For the Comelec to validly exercise its statutory power to cancel the registration of a party-list group, the law imposes only two conditions: (1) due notice and hearing is afforded to the party-list group concerned; and (2) any of the enumerated grounds for disqualification in Section 6 exists.

(Note: The title of Section 6 uses the phrase “and/or” between the words “Refusal” and “Cancellation.”)

The distinctiveness of the two powers (“Refusal” and “Cancellation”) is immediately apparent from their basic definitions. To refuse is to decline or to turn down, while to cancel is to annul or remove. Adopting such meanings within the context of Section 6, refusal of registration happens during the inceptive stage when an organization seeks admission into the roster of Comelec-registered party-list organizations through a petition for registration.

Cancellation, on the other hand, takes place after the fact of registration when an inquiry is done by the Comelec, by itself or upon a verified complaint, on whether a registered party-list organization still holds the qualifications imposed by law. Refusal is handed down to a petition for registration, while cancellation is decreed on the registration itself after the petition has been approved.

The legal meaning of the term “and/or” between “refusal” and “cancellation” should be taken in its ordinary significance — “refusal and/or cancellation” means “refusal and cancellation” or “refusal or cancellation.” It has been held that the intention of the legislature in using the term “and/or” is that the word “and” and the word “or” are to be used interchangeably.

The term “and/or” means that effect should be given to both the conjunctive “and” and the disjunctive “or” or that one word or the other may be taken accordingly as one or the other will best effectuate the purpose intended by the legislature as gathered from the whole statute. The term is used to avoid a construction which by the use of the disjunctive “or” alone will exclude the combination of several of the alternatives or by the use of the conjunctive “and” will exclude the efficacy of any one of the alternatives standing alone.

Hence, effect shall be given to both “refusal and cancellation” and “refusal or cancellation” according to how Section 6 intended them to be employed. The word “and” is a conjunction used to denote a joinder or union; it is pertinently defined as meaning “together with,” “joined with,” “along or together with.” The use of “and” in Section 6 was necessitated by the fact that refusal and cancellation of party-list registration share similar grounds, manner of initiation and procedural due process requirements of notice and hearing. With respect to the said matters, “refusal” and “cancellation” must be taken together. The word “or,” on the other hand, is a disjunctive term signifying disassociation and independence of one thing from the other things enumerated; it should, as a rule, be construed in the sense in which it ordinarily implies, as a disjunctive word. As such, “refusal or cancellation,” consistent with their disjunctive meanings, must be taken individually to mean that they are separate instances when the Comelec can exercise its power to screen the qualifications of party-list organizations for purposes of participation in the party-list system of representation.

That this is the clear intent of the law is bolstered by the use simply of the word “or” in the first sentence of Section 6 that “the Comelec may, motu propio or upon verified complaint of any interested party, refuse or cancel, after due notice and hearing, the registration of any national, regional or sectoral party, organization or coalition.”

Consequently, the Comelec’s conclusion that the complaint for cancellation, filed four months after the petition was approved, is actually a belated opposition, obliterates the distinction between the power to register/refuse and the power to cancel. Since an opposition may only be sensibly interposed against a petition for registration, the proceedings for which involve the Comelec’s power to register, it is wrong to impose it as a condition for the exercise of the Comelec’s entirely separate power to cancel. As such, the absence of an opposition to a petition for registration cannot serve to bar any interested party from questioning, through a complaint for cancellation, the qualifications of a party-list group.

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Thursday, July 11, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (16): OECD’s Principles of Style

The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) was officially born on September 30, 1961. It has 34 member-countries that account for 80% of world trade and investment. These member-countries include Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Korea, Luxembourg, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Slovak Republic, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, United States, and the United Kingdom. More than 20 member-countries have plain language policy on law drafting.  

Some “drafting tips and principles of stye” from the OECD Style Guide (3rd Edition) are:

  • Use basic, simple sentence structures.
  • Choose the simplest tenses.
  • Don’t bury long dependent clauses in mid-sentence.
  • Avoid using a long word when a shorter word will do.
  • Avoid using foreign words and expressions unless there is no English alternative. If foreign words or expressions are unavoidable, ensure that they are in italics.
  • Think twice before using empty and overused adjectives.
  • If necessary, remove weak intensifiers and qualifiers.
  • Ban redundancy which often comes in the form of an adjective that unnecessarily repeats the meaning of a noun or a verb.
  • Put statements in positive form.
  • Write with verbs.
  • Reduce prepositional phrases (on, of, in, for, with).
  • Prefer the active voice.
  • Beware of vague, empty words that clog beginnings.
  • Place emphatic words at the end of the sentence.
  • Avoid over-elaborate introductions.
  • Eliminate fluff and false starts such as I think, there was, it is.
  • Use the simplest, most specific language your subject allows. The more specific your words, the more likely you are to hold the reader’s attention.

Exercise: The text below comes from the OECD Style Guide. What principles were used in revising the original sentence?

Original text Revised text
It is the widespread opinion of delegates that the report is of a rather general nature and does not succeed in addressing the issue, which is currently of such significance, of reforming pensions. Furthermore, there is complete agreement among delegates on the fact that no new data on unemployment across countries are presented in the report. Delegates believe that the report is too general and fails to discuss the important issue of pension reform. They also agree that it does not present any new data on unemployment in OECD countries.


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Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Friday, July 05, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (15): Use gender-free language

The US Supreme Court and Gender-Neutral Language: Splitting La Difference” by Judith D. Fischer, University of Louisville - Louis D. Brandeis School of Law) 2012
Traditional writing uses masculine pronouns like “he” or “his” to refer to both men and women. “Gender-neutral” language, on the other hand, uses “he or she,” “his or her,” “he/she,” “his/her,” or the “singular they.”

A. The British Columbia Securities Commission advocates “gender-free” language (Plain Language Style Guide, 2008). The BCSC explains that the occasional use of “he or she” and other gender-neutral terms may be non-intrusive, but their repetitive use distracts and annoys readers. For example:

Traditional use of masculine pronoun: Gender-neutral language: Gender-free language:
The borrower who is not prompt in making the payments due under his mortgage risks losing his home through a foreclosure procedure. The borrower who is not prompt in making the payments due under his or her mortgage risks losing his or her home through a foreclosure procedure. Borrowers who are not prompt in making the payments due under their mortgages risk losing their homes through foreclosure procedures.

B. Richard Lauchman, in his free PDF (A Handbook for Writers in the U.S. Federal Government), provides six ways to cut “his,“his/her,“his/hers,“his or her,“s/he”:

1. Cut “his/her,” “his or her” from the sentence, if possible.

Every writer must use his/her good judgment. Every writer must use good judgment.

2. Use “you.”

Each researcher must bring his/her driver's license or other photo identification. You must bring your driver's license or other photo identification.

3. Make the first term plural, and then use “their.”

Each researcher must bring his/her driver's license or other photo identification. All researchers must bring their driver's license or other photo identification.

4. Use an article (“a,” “an,” or “the”).

Each researcher must bring his/her driver’s license or other photo identification. Each researcher must bring a driver’s license or other photo identification.

5. Write a passive construction.

Each researcher must bring his/her driver’s license or other photo identification. A driver’s license or other photo identification is required.

6. In a lengthy document, you can use “he“ and “she“ interchangeably.

C. UN Guidelines for gender-inclusive language in English (with self-paced exercise in PDF format)

1. Use non-discriminatory language
1.1 Forms of address
1.2 Avoid gender-biased expressions or expressions that reinforce gender stereotypes

2. Make gender visible when it is relevant for communication
2.1 Using feminine and masculine pronouns
2.2 Using two different words

3. Do not make gender visible when it is not relevant for communication
3.1 Use gender-neutral words
3.2 Using plural pronouns/adjectives
3.3 Use the pronoun one
3.4 Use the relative pronoun who
3.5 Use a plural antecedent
3.6 Omit the gendered word
3.7 Use the passive voice

D. “Avoiding Sexism in Legal Writing — The Pronoun Problem” by Matthew Salzwedel

Garner says that legal writers can simply avoid the pronoun problem by:

Deleting the pronoun. For example, instead of writing “No one can be elected to be a judge after he has reached the age of 65,” a writer can say “No one can be elected to be a judge after the age of 65.”

Changing the pronoun to an article like a(n) or the. For example, instead of writing “The attorney must file his brief by the deadline,” a writer can say “The attorney must file the brief by the deadline.”

Pluralizing the sentence so that he becomes they.

E. Youtube videos

Gender Neutral Language (Singular They)



Singular They



F. Exercise: The text below comes from the Civil Service Commission website. (1) Locate the five gender-neutral terms. (2) Revise the sentences by using gender-free language.

1. CSE-PPT

Results of the CSE-PPT are usually released from three to four months after the examination. The names of passed examinees shall be posted at the CSC website www.csc.gov.ph.      

Those who passed the examination must personally claim their Certificates of Eligibility at the CSC Regional Office/Field Office upon presentation of required documents. On the other hand, those who failed the examination may secure a copy of their Report of Rating through the CSC website. No Report of Rating shall be mailed to those who failed. To secure a copy of the Report of Rating, an examinee must key in his/her name, date of birth, examinee number, examination date, and examination type. Thus, examinees are advised to safe keep or remember their examinee number until receipt of the examination result.

2. CSE-CAT

Results of the CSE-CAT are usually released within two to three hours after the examination. Examinees are strongly advised to wait for the examination results. Those who passed shall receive their Certificate of Eligibility, while those who failed shall receive their Report of Rating. Should an examinee fail to claim/receive his/her examination result on the examination day, he/she has to personally return at a later date to claim either his/her Certificate of Eligibility or Report of Rating.

The names of passed CSE-CAT examinees shall be posted at the CSC website.

Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Friday, June 28, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (14): Asian Development Bank’s Clear Writing guidelines

1. “Clear Writing” from the ADB Handbook of Style and Usage (2017 edition, pages x to xix)

2. In “Using Plain English” (Knowledge Solutions, October 2008), ADB’s Olivier Serrat urges writers to:

Select simple words.
Make lists.
Keep sentences short.
Refrain from giving unnecessary details.
Cut down on jargon and use defined terms sparingly.
Discard superfluous words.
Reduce nominalizations.
Avoid weak verbs.
Use the active voice with strong verbs.
Be specific rather than general.
Write personally, as if you were talking to the reader.


Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

3. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.


Friday, June 21, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (13): Use simple, clear sentence structures

1. “Guidelines for Drafting and Editing Court Rules” by Bryan A. Garner (used in the Plain Language-restyling of the 1998 US Federal Rules of Appellate Procedure)

Avoid interruptive phrases between the subject and the verb by moving them to the beginning or end of the sentence.

Enumerate at the end – not at the beginning – of a sentence.

2. From Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) Style Guide 2nd Edition
Use basic, simple sentence structures

Choose the simplest tenses

Don’t bury long dependent clauses in mid-sentence

3. Five principles of readability, from OWL Purdue (listed below are three principles that are similar to guidelines by Garner and OECD)
Principle One: Sentences that have a subject-verb-object order are more readable than those that don’t.

Principle Two: When possible, put the agent (subject) and action (verb) close together in the sentence.

Principle Three: Keep modifiers and the words they modify close together in the sentence.

4. Free resources from the Michigan Bar Journal:
Down with Provided That (by Prof. Joseph Kimble, president, Thomas Cooley College of Law, Michigan, USA; Burton Awards for “Reform in Law” Federal Rules of Civil Procedure (2007) and Federal Rules of Evidence (2011)

The 20 Most Common Sentence-Level Faults Among Legal Writers (by Bryan A. Garner)

Clearing Up Ambiguity from a Series Modifier

Ambiguous Drafting and the 12-Pound Cat

5. Videos

English Sentence Structure - English Grammar Lesson



Grammar Lesson #1 - Tips to Improve Your Sentence Structure



Word Order / Sentence Structure - English Grammar Lesson (Part 1)




Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (12): Use the active voice, minimize the passive



1. Passive voice is one of the biggest problems with government documents.  (From US National Archives and Records Administration Style Guide)

Active voice is the best way to identify who is responsible for what action.

In an active sentence, the person or organization that’s acting is the subject of the sentence. In a passive sentence, the person or item that is acted upon is the subject of the sentence. Passive voice obscures who is responsible for what and is one of the biggest problems with government documents.

2. A sentence is in the active voice if the subject performs the action expressed in the verb. For example:
The dog bit the boy. (Active voice)

The boy was bitten by the dog. (Passive voice)

3. Some US cases that were decided against parties that used the passive voice (from Mark Cooney, Michigan Bar Journal, June 2005)
Coroles v Sabey, 79 P3d 974, 981 (Utah App 2003)

Castro v Hastings, 74 Fed. Appx. 607, 609 (CA 7, 2003)

Zito v Leasecomm Corp, No. 02 Civ. 8074 (GEL), 2003 WL 22251352, at *10 (SD NY Sept 30, 2003)

In re MJB, 140 SW3d 643, 656 (Tenn App 2004)

United States v Wilson, 503 US 329, 334–35 (1992)

DaimlerChrysler Serv No Amer, LLC v State Tax Assessor, 817 A2d 862, 865 (Me 2003)

Arlington Educ Ass’n v Arlington School Dist No. 3, 34 P3d 1197, 1200 (Or App 2001)

4. Recent US cases that involved the issue of passive voice:
Pendergest-Holt et al v. Certain Underwriters at Lloyds of London, No. 10-200069 (5th Cir. March 15, 2010)

Sherley v. Sebelius No. 10-5287, slip op. at 2 (D.C. Cir. Apr. 29, 2011)

5. Reasons to use the active voice (articles from the Michigan Bar Journal):
Stay Active! (Part 1)
 
Stay Active! (Part 2)

6. Exercise: Locate the passive voice verbs in this example from the Civil Service Commission website. (Answer at the bottom of this page)
Historical Highlights

The civil service system in the Philippines was formally established under Public Law No. 5 ("An Act for the Establishment and Maintenance of Our Efficient and Honest Civil Service in the Philippine Island") in 1900 by the Second Philippine Commission. A Civil Service Board was created composed of a Chairman, a Secretary and a Chief Examiner. The Board administered civil service examinations and set standards for appointment in government service. It was reorganized into a Bureau in 1905.

The 1935 Philippine Constitution firmly established the merit system as the basis for employment in government. The following years also witnessed the expansion of the Bureau’s jurisdiction to include the three branches of government: the national government, local government and government corporations.

In 1959, Republic Act 2260, otherwise known as the Civil Service Law, was enacted. This was the first integral law on the Philippine bureaucracy, superseding the scattered administrative orders relative to government personnel administration issued since 1900. This Act converted the Bureau of Civil Service into the Civil Service Commission with department status.

In 1975, Presidential Decree No. 807 (The Civil Service Decree of the Philippines) redefined the role of the Commission as the central personnel agency of government. Its present mandate is derived from Article IX-B of the 1987 Constitution which was given effect through Book V of Executive Order No. 292 (The 1987 Administrative Code). The Code essentially reiterates existing principles and policies in the administration of the bureaucracy and recognizes, for the first time, the right of government employees to self-organization and collective negotiations under the framework of the 1987 Constitution.

7. Videos on active and passive voice

Active versus Passive Voice



Active and Passive Voice



Grammar Series - Active Voice vs Passive Voice



How to Eliminate Passive Voice From Your Writing



8. Answers to the exercise (passive voice shown in boldface):
Historical Highlights

The civil service system in the Philippines was formally established under Public Law No. 5 ("An Act for the Establishment and Maintenance of Our Efficient and Honest Civil Service in the Philippine Island") in 1900 by the Second Philippine Commission. A Civil Service Board was created composed of a Chairman, a Secretary and a Chief Examiner. The Board administered civil service examinations and set standards for appointment in government service. It was reorganized into a Bureau in 1905.

The 1935 Philippine Constitution firmly established the merit system as the basis for employment in government. The following years also witnessed the expansion of the Bureau’s jurisdiction to include the three branches of government: the national government, local government and government corporations.

In 1959, Republic Act 2260, otherwise known as the Civil Service Law, was enacted. This was the first integral law on the Philippine bureaucracy, superseding the scattered administrative orders relative to government personnel administration issued since 1900. This Act converted the Bureau of Civil Service into the Civil Service Commission with department status.

In 1975, Presidential Decree No. 807 (The Civil Service Decree of the Philippines) redefined the role of the Commission as the central personnel agency of government. Its present mandate is derived from Article IX-B of the 1987 Constitution which was given effect through Book V of Executive Order No. 292 (The 1987 Administrative Code). The Code essentially reiterates existing principles and policies in the administration of the bureaucracy and recognizes, for the first time, the right of government employees to self-organization and collective negotiations under the framework of the 1987 Constitution. 


Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2.“Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Tuesday, June 04, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (11): Revising wordy sentences using the Paramedic Method

1. Prof. Richard Lanham of the UCLA Writing Center developed the Paramedic Method for revising wordy sentences. Here are the steps:

Step 1: Underline the prepositional phrases in the sentence.

Step 2: Circle the “to be” verbs (is, are, as, were)

Step 3: Place a box around nominalizations and identify the primary action.

Step 4: Write the nominalization/primary action into a single verb.

Step 5: Ask “Who what performs the action?” Then write the new base clause with the agent in the subject position.

Step 6: Keep the base clause near beginning of the sentence.

Step 7: Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases.

2. Videos

Write Well: Editing Sentences Using the Paramedic Method (Macalester College)



Help from Dr. Lanham



Richard Lanham - Revising Prose



Paramedic Method



Self-Editing (Paramedic Method)



The Paramedic Method



Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Friday, May 24, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (10): How to write clear, concise, and direct sentences

1. “Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.” — “Elements of Style” by Strunk and White

2. “Short sentences are not an end by themselves. As legal writers, your goals are short and clear sentences.” As Napoleon Bonaparte emphasized to his runners who brought messages to his battlefield commanders, “Make it clear! Make it clear! Make it clear!”

3. “Techniques in creating clear, concise, and direct sentences” (The Writing Center, University Wisconsin – Madison):

  • Unless you have a reason not to, use the active voice. Put the action of the sentence in the verb. 
  • Reduce wordy verbs.
  • Use expletive constructions (“It is,” “There is,” “There are”) sparingly. 
  • Try to avoid using vague, all-purpose nouns, which often lead to wordiness. 
  • Unless your readers are familiar with your terminology, avoid writing strings of nouns. 
  • Eliminate unnecessary prepositional phrases.
  • Avoid unnecessarily inflated words. 
  • Put wordy phrases on a diet.

4. “Writing Concise Sentences” (from The Guide to Grammar and Writing, sponsored by the Capital Community College Foundation in Hartford, Connecticut)

5. “Identifying and addressing wordiness in sentences” (from The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill)
  • Eliminate redundant pairs
  • Delete unnecessary qualifiers
  • Identify and reduce prepositional phrases
  • Locate and delete unnecessary modifiers
  • Replace a phrase with a word
  • Identify negatives and change them to affirmatives

6. “How to Sculpt Concise Sentences (So Your Message Becomes Clear and Strong)”

7. Writing Concise Sentences



8. Lesson 16: Wordy Sentences



9. Keep it Simple: Clearer, Concise Sentences



Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (09): Use short sentences

Recommended average number of words per sentence in legal documents:

15 words (Federal Register Document Drafting Handbook, October 1998 Revision, page 216)

Between 15 and 18 (“Plain English: Eschew Legalese” by Judge Gerald Lebovits, New York State Bar Association Journal, November/December 2008, page 60)

18 words (“Appellate Practice—Including Legal Writing From A Judge’s Perspective”, page 7, by Judge Mark P. Painter, the only American so far to be appointed to the UN Appellate Tribunal)

20 words or fewer (US Federal Aviation Administration “Writing Standards, Order 1000.36”)

20 words (“Legal Writing in Plain English” by Bryan A. Garner) 20 words (“How to write clearly” from European Commission)

20 to 25 words (“How to create clear announcements” Project on the Use of Plain Language, by Hong Kong Securities and Futures Commission”)

20 to 25 words (“Tips for Better Writing in Law Reviews and Other Journals” by Joseph Kimble, Michigan Bar Journal, October 2012)

22 words (“Just Writing: Grammar, Punctuation, and Style for the Legal Writer” by Anne Enquist and Laurel Currie Oates)

25 words (“Mightier Than the Sword: Powerful Writing in the Legal Profession” by C. Edward Good)
(Jump to “The modern English sentence is short, averaging below 20 words per sentence”)

1. “After 14 years as a legal adviser to the Government, I had got into the habit of writing concisely and going straight to the point. I think I might have lost the knack to express myself in a literary style. Government minutes are written in plain English. Now, I try to use short sentences to capture all my ideas and arguments.” (Singapore Chief Justice Chan Sek Keong)

2. “Legal sentences tend to be long and flabby.” (Prof. Joseph Kimble, president, Thomas Cooley Law School, Michigan, USA; drafting consultant, Plain Language-restyling of the US Federal Rules of Court)

3. “The genius is having a ten-dollar idea in a five-cent sentence, not having a five-cent idea in a ten-dollar sentence.” (US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, in an interview with Bryan A. Garner, Scribes Journal of Legal Writing Volume 13)

4. “The more complicated your information is, the shorter your sentences should be.” (from “Writing to Win: The Legal Writer: The Complete Guide to Writing Strategies That Will Make Your Case—And Win It” by Steven D. Stark)

5. “Seeking to be precise, we become redundant. Seeking to be cautious, we become verbose. Our sentences twist on, phrase within clause, within clause, glazing the eyes and numbing the minds our readers. The result is a writing style that is wordy, unclear, pompous, and dull.” (“Plain English for Lawyers” by Richard Wydick, Professor Emeritus in Legal Writing at University of California - Davis; the National University of Singapore uses this book for its Legal Writing Programme.)

6. “Short sentences are a supreme advantage when communicating with people from a non-English speaking background. If you want your English to be understood worldwide—write short sentences. If you want to avoid embarrassing grammar mistakes and excruciating international misunderstandings—use short sentences. If you want your international clients to read your documents easily, confidently and accurately—use short sentences.” (“Global English for Global Business,” page 38, by Rachel McAlpine)

7. Examples of long sentences:

BSP Circular No. 702, protection of credit card holders from unfair collection practices (235 words in one sentence)

Banks/quasi-banks and their subsidiary or affiliate credit card companies shall also provide the following information to their cardholders:
1. A table of the applicable fees, penalties and interest rates on credit card transactions, including the period covered by and the manner of and reason for the imposition of such penalties, fees and interest; fees and applicable conversion reference rates for third currency transactions, in plain sight and language, on materials for marketing credit cards, such as brochures, flyers, primers and advertising materials, on credit card application forms, and on credit card billing statements: Provided, That these disclosures are in addition to the full disclosure of the fees, charges and interest rates in the terms and conditions of the credit card agreement found elsewhere on the application form and billing statement; and

2. A reminder to the card holder in the monthly billing statement, or its equivalent document, that payment of only the minimum amount due or any amount less than the total amount due for the billing cycle/period, would mean the imposition of interest and/or other charges; Provided, That such table of fees, penalties and interest rates and reminder shall be printed in plain language and in bold black letters against a light or white background, and using the minimum Arial 12 theme font and size, or its equivalent in readability, and on the first page, if the applicable document has more than one page. 

Senate impeachment rules (106 words in one sentence)
VI. The President of the Senate or the Chief Justice when presiding on the trial may rule on all questions of evidence including, but not limited to, questions of materiality, relevancy, competency or admissibility of evidence and incidental questions, which ruling shall stand as the judgment of the Senate, unless a Member of the Senate shall ask that a formal vote be taken thereon, in which case it shall be submitted to the Senate for decision after one contrary view is expressed; or the Presiding Officer may at his/her option, in the first instance, submit any such question to a vote of the Members of the Senate.


8. The modern English sentence is short, averaging below 20 words per sentence.

A. From “The Principles of readability” by William DuBay:

In 1880, a professor of English Literature at the University of Nebraska, Lucius Adelno Sherman, began to teach literature from a historical and statistical point of view.

He compared the older prose writers with more popular modern writers such as Macaulay (The History of England) and Ralph Waldo Emerson. He noticed a progressive shortening of sentences over time.

He decided to look at this statistically and began by counting average sentence length per 100 periods. In his book (1893), Analytics of Literature, A Manual for the Objective Study of English Prose and Poetry, he showed how sentence length averages shortened over time:

Pre-Elizabethan times: 50 words per sentence
Elizabethan times: 45 words per sentence
Victorian times: 29 words per sentence
Sherman’s time: 23 words per sentence.

In our time, the average is down to 20 words per sentence.

B.
Ellegard Norm: The modern English sentence has an average of 17.6 words per sentence. (From 1978 study by Swedish researcher Alvar Ellegard of 1 million words corpus of 20th century American English writing called the Brown Corpus collected by Brown University in 1964)

C. “What is Happening to Written English?”

Essentially, the sentence has become shorter – quite dramatically. In a study by Brock Haussamen (1994) using text from a variety of sources, the average sentence length was shown to have reduced from 40-70 in the period 1600-1700 to the low 20s in the 1990s.

Year 1600 - 1700: Sentence length 40 - 70 words
Year 1800 - 1900: Sentence length 30 - 40 words
Year 1990s: Sentence length 20s

D. Comparison of average sentence length of several writers

Jane Austen: 42
John Steinbeck: 18.4
D. H. Lawrence: 13.5

E.  “Editing Tip: Sentence Length”

" ... the average sentence length for Harry Potter author JK Rowling, who can be considered representative of a modern English writer with a general audience, is 12 words ..."

F.  “The long sentence: A disservice to science in the Internet age”

If we want the fullness of science in necessarily long papers to be appreciated, it must increasingly be written in short sentences.

Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

Be a better writer or editor through StyleWriter 4: this software checks 10,000 words in 12 seconds for hundreds of style and English usage issues like wordy and complex sentences, passive voice, nominalization, jargon, clichés, readability, spelling, etc.

StyleWriter 4 graphs your style and sentence variety, and identifies your writing habits to give an instant view of your writing. You can learn to adjust your writing style to suit your audience and task. You can learn, for example, the writing style of Newsweek, Time, The Economist, and Scientific American.

StyleWriter 4 is widely used in the US federal government (for example, the Environmental Protection Agency). It can be used by educators, students, and professionals in various fields - business, law, social or physical science, medicine, nursing, engineering, public relations, human resources, journalism, accounting, etc. Download your free 14-day trial copy now.

Thursday, May 02, 2019

Clear, concise, and effective English for law students, bar examinees, and legal writers in organizations, private companies, and government offices (08): Keep your text concise

1. Thomas Jefferson: “The most valuable of talents is never using two words when one will do.”

2. George Orwell: “Never use a long word where a short one will do. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.”

3. “Write clearly and simply if you can, and you’ll be more likely to be thought of as intelligent.”

Prof. Daniel M. Oppenheimer of Princeton University published his study titled “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity” in the 2006 Applied Cognitive Psychology Journal. Actually, the title (as I quoted it) is incomplete; Prof. Oppenheimer was having fun because the other half of his study’s title is “Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly.”

Oppenheimer surveyed 110 Stanford University students. Among other things, he asked them the following questions:

“Have you ever changed the words in an academic essay to make the essay sound more valid or intelligent by using complicated language?” 86.4% said yes.

“When you write an essay, do you turn to the thesaurus to choose words that are more complex to give the impression that the content is more valid or intelligent?” 75% said yes.
Among Oppenheimer’s findings are:
  • People are more likely to use big words when they are feeling the most insecure.
  • Leaders facing crucial decisions might use more complex vocabulary and end up undermining others’ confidence in their leadership ability.
  • Write clearly and simply if you can, and you’ll be more likely to be thought of as intelligent.
4. “Conciseness” or “concision” ordinarily means being brief but technically, it means being direct to the point. Your goal as a legal writer is to be concise and clear. Some ways to keep your text concise and clear are:
  • Use short, simple words (for example, use “needs” instead of “necessitates”)
  • Avoid big words and pompous diction (use “because” instead of “due to the fact that”)
  • Omit redundant words (use “”facts” instead of “actual facts”)
  • Avoid redundant pairs
  • Avoid redundant modifiers
  • Avoid modifiers such as absolutely, actually, completely, really, quite, totally, and very
  • Avoid doublets and triplets (use either word instead of “authorize and empower”)
  • Watch out for “of,” “to,” “on,’ and other prepositions
  • Avoid noun strings
  • Avoid legal, foreign, and technical jargon
  • Avoid hidden verbs or nominalization (say “I decided” instead of “I made a decision”)

5. Free resources:

“Plain English Lexicon” by Plain Language Commission

“The A to Z of alternative words” from Plain English Campaign

6. Being Concise in Your Writing (University of Glasgow)



7. Writing Clearly and Concisely (North Carolina State University)



8. Succinct Writing (University of British Columbia)



9. English Writing Workshop - Clear and Concise Sentences



10. Keep it Simple: Clearer, Concise Sentences



11. Make Your Writing Concise



12. Nine Ways to Use Clear, Simple Vocabulary to Sound More Professional in English



Free seminars:

1. “English Proficiency Course” (4 hours; for college students, K-to-12 teachers, other groups)

2. “Clear, concise English for effective legal writing” (3-5 hours; for Student Councils, academic organizations, fraternities, sororities, NGOs, LGUs, any interested group; test yourself with the interactive exercises)

Seminars are for Metro Manila only. For more information or to schedule a seminar, please contact Atty. Gerry T. Galacio at 0927-798-3138.

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